babebo
1/24

My Winter Break

A winter wonderland at Yosemite National Park

We have never traveled to the magical place that is Yosemite NP, and we had never spent our New Years away from family. Yet this year was going to be different, after deciding to halt chemo and all harsh drugs, I have been able to enjoy life once again. To be normal has never made me feel so alive!

Being alive and living a normal life have never felt so unattainable to me. Yet I have managed to reach another new year knowing that I haven't been normal for quite a while. To enjoy the amazing landscapes, to feel the soft and warm snow on my fingertips was amazing. Yet I know that my decision to halt conventional cancer drugs can have dire consequences. But I dream of being normal and free from this disease that shackles me and has forced me to compromise on a daily basis.

The new year will begin, and for my son and I, we will face many battles that I hope I have the inner strength to face. Yet all I can do is keep the faith strong and try to be true to myself. Too often we compromise who we are, what we want, and what we need. Yet a wise friend told me that there will come a time when we stop compromising and start living. One day.....at a time.

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